Ruud awakening

So Ruud Gullit is coming to LA! (Hooray, stylish chap, nice wife, will add to the glamor of the place) But he is coming to manage the Galaxy soccer team! (Boo, great player, not a bad coach but crap at dealing with internal politics, got booted out of Chelsea and Newcastle because he got up the noses of the people who mattered. Still, as he's on $10m over three years, maybe he'll be able to say what he likes).
The great news for Galaxy fans, most of whom don't know one end of a penalty spot from the other, is that the club will have another person with high-level European experience. Gullit's predecessor, Frank Yallop, who amazingly was lured away to San Diego last week despite being complete rubbish, had played for Ipswich, but he is hardly fit to tie the shoelaces of Gullit or Beckham. And there is also the enigmatic but experienced Abel Xavier (Portugues national team, ex-Middlesborough, but we won't hold that against him).
Imagine the first chat between Gullit and Beckham, though:
RG: Good to be working with you, David. What do you see as the main problems facing Galaxy on the pitch?
DB: The other teams, Ruud.
RG: Ha, Ha, David, the LA sunshine has clearly done your sense of humor a world of good. Seriously, though?
DB: Seriously, though, the big problem is the other teams. They're better than us, Ruud.
RG: OK, I take your point. What do you suggest we do about that?
DB: Try, and I do mean try, to teach our lot the basics of playing football.
RG: The basics, David? But they're all professionals, surely they know the basics?
DB: They get paid money, Ruud, in that sense they are professionals, but in most cases it stops there. And I hear some of them are only paid $500.
RG: An hour, right?
DB: A week, Ruud.
RG: Not like us, eh, David!
DB: No, not like us, Ruud, and you'll soon see why. The defence is fairly well organised, with Abel's help, but midfield and attack are woeful. They've got no idea of keeping possession, no idea of keeping the ball on the ground, it's Route One all the time, kick it up the field and hope for the best. And when they haven't got the ball, they don't have the first idea of trying to cut out the other side's options or anticipate what they might do.
RG: That's quite a long list, David.
DB: I could go on.
RG: Thanks but no thanks.
DB: There is one bit of hope.
RG: What's that?
DB: The other teams aren't much better. Welcome to LA, Ruud.